The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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