But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize