I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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