Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
