drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
