Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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