i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
