rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
