they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
