Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
