ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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