Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
