I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
