Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
