have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
