I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
