Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
