"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
