3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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