Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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