i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
