I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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