New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
