Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
