I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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