I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
