This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
