Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
