AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
