Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
