I cannot find my penis.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
