let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
