Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
