He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
