Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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