come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
