is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
