even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
they need to just BURY HIM!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
