he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
