I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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