Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
