the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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