It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
