fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
