this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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