I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
