So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
