So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
