There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
