I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize