now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
