Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
