Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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