from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
