i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
