it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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