The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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