this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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