As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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