They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You may now shotgun with the bride
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize