in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
