This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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