please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
