nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
