I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
