I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
