Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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