i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
