I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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