So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
