A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
