I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize