so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
