I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i out mim tonsoeep
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